broken and fixed

Gone again. 6:00 am on a Monday morning and there gone. No note, no text, no nothing. This is the fifth time this month that my parents aren't even home when I wake up. Do they just not care that their own daughter could have been KILLED when they weren't home. I went to get ready and call Amelia -my best friend- to come over and walk with me to school. I put on white sneakers and black jeans and a Panic! at the disco hoodie. I brush my hair into the tightest ponytail anyone ever seen and grab my backpack with all of my stuff in it. I opened my door to see Amelia Turner with her baby blue backpack over one shoulder. Her blond hair shines as the sun hits it. She has a pair of black and white sneakers on with a pair of blue jeans and a bright yellow shirt. She has a giant smile across her face. “Ready for your first day of middle school Emma,” Amelia squeals at my doorstep “No,” I say in return “Why not...” She looks around my house from the doorstep “their not here again… are they.“ there's a long pause of silence. Jokingly I look around the living room for a second. “Nope.” [[ next-> WALK TO SCHOOL]]

We walk pretty much silent the rest of the way to school but I can tell she wants to say something. Amelia’s always had the perfect family, a mom who's always there for her, a dad she can always talk to, and her brother who takes care of her no matter what. I've always wanted to be in her family, no waking up to no one home, no doing everything yourself. I stared at the empty road there's no sound whatsoever. All I can hear is the sound of our feet on the concrete. There's no one around it seems as if we live in a ghost town. The more we walk on this empty, quiet sidewalk the more I wonder. “Did they even come home last night?” Amelia asks. “Mom did... No sight of dad,” I say in a quiet voice trying not to ruin the silence around us. “Well there you have it, your mom probably went to find him.” I look at Amelia like she’s crazy. She's been my best friend since preschool so she knows about all the times my parents don't show up. One time her parents came to my dance recital because my parents couldn't come and now that I think of it, they never told me why they didn’t come? “Hey?!” Amelia says “you know sometimes you could go hours even day without saying a single thing.” “I can?” I say in confusion “you get so lost in your train of thought it’s like you have a second world in your head.” Maybe I do have a second world in my head one I escape do when things come crashing down or when I can't handle something. “When you get home and, If they’re not home, call me. We can have another secret sleepover.” Amelia knows that me not being responsible whatsoever means that we can have sleepovers and stay up all night even on school nights. “Fine,” after I say that there silence alway to school. OPTION A: [[ Walk into school and accept the fact you’re late on the first day.]] OPTION B: [[ Ditch school and find someplace to hang out till school out. ]]

“They’re not home,” I say over the phone. I knew this would happen I wake up and there gone, I get home and there gone. I'm pretty sure Amelia could tell my own thoughts were eating me up inside because Amelia started to try and calm me down. “Emma calm down I'll be right over,” she says. I hang up. She knows I'm not mad at her and I'm mad at my parents. Sometimes I wonder how she can handle me. My thoughts always taking over reality. [[next-> AMELIA COMES OVER.]]

“I just ditched school, I just walked out of school on my first day of middle school.” I start running because I don’t want anyone to see me. I run to the convenience store and grab everything I can afford. As soon as I leave, I start to run again I run to the abandoned park I know no one will see me. For the rest of the day, I sit and read I run around trying to pass the time. I don’t know what I was thinking of ditching school its 6 hours of doing COMPLETE NOTHING until school out for everyone. I get a rock and throw it at the wall. “I've officially done everything I can do,” I say out loud with a sigh. I look at my phone and mp up with joy there only 30 minutes of school left. My house is kinda far away from the abandoned park I start to walk. I walk fairly slow so that in case my parents are home they won’t be surprised that I came home early. Well, if they even noticed. As soon as I get home I call Amelia. [[next-> call Amelia at home .]]

She shows up in a knee-length dress with flowers all over it. She has a huge smile across her face and her backpack over one shoulder. Amelia’s always so happy she never has a frown, I've only seen her cry maybe 2 times because she has gotten hurt. I'm usually the cry baby in this friendship, the one that gets hurt the most, the one that can't handle reality. She starts snapping quickly in my face, “ You remember that thing I said about you blanking out.” “Yeah?” “You’re doing it again.” We walk up to my room and sit on my bed. We just kinda sit there in silence. I can faintly hear people talking outside my bedroom window. I hear birds chirping and see cars driving by. And for some reason, I just start to cry. “Emma it’s ok they'll be back. They might not be the best parents but sooner or later they'll show up and they'll be there for you” “It's not the fact that they don't show up its the fact that they know they could be better parents they know all the times they never show up. And the except it. They accept the fact that there are terrible parents and frankly sometimes terrible people.” “Emma dont say that there great parents when they try,” she says. I don't say anything. I just cry more, and more and more till I feel like my whole rooms filled with tears. [[next-> FIRST BIG FIGHT.]]

“Fine Emma be like that I don't care, go be the cry baby you always are,” she yelled and stormed out of my room grabbing her stuff and slamming my door. I can feel the room vibrate. I've never seen her that mad especially at me. And now I realize how alone I actually feel. After she slammed the door there is nothing but silence all I can hear is the sound of my tears I manage to block out all the other sounds around me. It takes me a second to realize that she's actually gone. I started to listen to the sounds around me birds chirping people talking about who knows what and the sound of cars speeding past my empty house. It's so quiet that I can almost make out what the people down the block are talking about. I cried and cried for so long that I ended up falling asleep with tears still in my eyes. [[next-> SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL.]]

“Wellcome to class everybody!” my teacher yells. It's been a week since Amelia and I got in that fight. I mean I wouldn't really call it a fight it not like I fought back, I did what I always do. I cried and cried and cried even more. My parents are still gone. I think they went to Hawaii - there favorite place to go, yet they've never gone- “Emma!” “Yes?!” “Pay attention in my class,” Mrs. Robinson yells. “Now today we will be learning about… “ I block out Mrs. Robinson this is the most boring class of the day. “Now I will tell you your partners.” PARTNERS!? Please don't say that me and… “Emma you'll be with Amelia.” great. Amelia looks at me in a strange way like the way she never has before… like she hates me. “Look I'm sorry Amelia, I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have taken all the attention to myself, I’m sorry,” I say. “I'm sorry I was having a bad day and I took it out on you, I shouldn't have” “Ok enough with the I'm sorry we should get to work.” “Yeah,” she says. As another week goes by Amelia and I got into another fight. I'm starting to think out friendship isn't as strong as I thought. [[next-> CALL GRANDMA]]

I thought it would be a good idea if I called my grandma to come and stay with me until my parents get back. Usually, I would just stay with Amelia but the fight we got into this time was pretty serious. She told me it was my fault that she had no other friends because I always need someone because I can't be alone. Because I'll break into a billion pieces. I told my grandma all about the fight. “The only way your going to get over this fight is if you get rid of everything that was hers, make sure that you have nothing that can remind you of her,” my grandma told me. “Throw all the stuff that she wrote to you and other things away and give back her other stuff.” “Ok,” I say. [[next-> GO FIND ALL AMELIAS STUFF]]

I go to my room and tried to find everything Amelias ever gave me. I made a checklist of everything so I know what I have or not. Checklist shirts/ jeans camera Sweatshirts Charger Phone cases Jewelry Before I finish getting everything to give to Amelia I see a box at the top of my closet. I pull the box down and see that it was a birthday gift from Amelia. [[next-> LOOK INSIDE BOX]]

There's something written on the top of the box in bold letters, “DO NOT OPEN TILL YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER GETTING THIS” I open the box and see nothing but a note. As I’m holding the note in my hand I wonder if I should read the note or not. It seems like she really wanted me to read this. Like it has something important about it. But I don’t see what’s so important about an old letter was written when were what like 5. She probably forgot all about it so it wouldn’t even be worth reading it now. OPTION A[[ Read the letter.]] OPTION B: [[Throw the letter away and forget about it.]]

Double-click this passage to edit it. Dear Emma, Happy birthday! Your finally the same age as me! I’m soooooo sad that I can't be there to celebrate with you. I had to take a dumb trip alway to London and have to miss your birthday. But ill see you when I get back. I miss you soooo much I'll see you sooooon! -Amelia/ YOUR BEST FRIEND ♡♡♡ [[next-> GIVE AMELIA HER STUFF BACK]]

I toss the letter into the trash and walk into the living room and out the front door. I walk to the store and buy food because there’s barely any food left in the fridge since my parents left. Walking back home I see Amelia with her new friends at dinner we always hung out at. That dinner was our favorite place to go to. We spent hours in that dinner, I can’t recall a time we weren’t there. The shop owners are Amelia's grandma and grandpa so we spent the night in the dinner once I’ve never had so many milkshakes a fries in my life. Her grandparents live in the upstairs floor of the dinner so we spend a lot of time there. During the summer we do little jobs occasionally for money mostly just for fun. “Grandma I’m home!” I yell “Oh good, I made pumpkin pie!” As I walk into the kitchen I wonder how she even got the stuff to make pumpkin pie without leaving the house for days?” Did you give all amelia stuff back while you were gone.” “Not yet, grandma, I found a note she gave me when were five tho” “Well, what did it say” “I don’t know I didn’t read it I threw it in the trash.” “No no no!” she screams at me.” Go find the note and read it you can't throw it away.” I walk to my room to go find the note from the trash. [[next->find letter]]

Dear Emma, Happy birthday! Your finally the same age as me! I’m soooooo sad that I can't be there to celebrate with you. I had to take a dumb trip alway to London and have to miss your birthday. But ill see you when I get back. I miss you soooo much I'll see you sooooon! -Amelia/ YOUR BEST FRIEND ♡♡♡ [[next-> GIVE AMELIA HER STUFF BACK]]

She clearly wrote that when we were little because her handwriting looks like my handwriting now. Maybe it would be a better idea instead of just leaving all her stuff in a box on her front doorstep like I had planned, giving it to her in person might be a better idea. And I can try to fix or friendship. As I walk up to her doorstep I start to feel dizzy. I feel as if I can't breathe I can't seem to have the confidence I did just a few minutes ago. I drop the box at her doorstep, ring the bell and ran as fast as I could. As soon as I got back home, I felt like I couldn't stay there I had to go somewhere else. I run to the park that nobody ever goes to and hide. I start to cry. I feel as if Amelia and I would never be as good as friends that we were or even friends at all. I started to hear a loud noise hitting the top of the structure. I see rain dripping down the slide. I can't tell my tears apart from the rain it seems like the world crying with me. [[next-> THE NEXT MORNING]]

I must have been so tired from running that I fell asleep at the park. As soon as I know it is a bright and sunny morning. It seemed all so perfect, trees swaying side to side the rain drying up from the night before. It seemed as if the world went from dark and shady to sunny perfect day. I pull the note out of my pocket, it's a little wet from the night before. I read it over and over again. I run back home and get ready for the day. I look in the mirror and all I can see is the version me I never wanted to be, a damaged version of me. I can't imagine that Amelia misses me as much as I miss her. She was my best friend, Amelia, and Emma against the world. We had each other's back through thick and thin. Now it feels like we're complete strangers that nod as they walk past each other in the halls. As an unknown author once said “ Not friends not enemies just strangers with some memories.” you know what that’s it I’ve had enough. She’s my best friend and I can't let this go on for any longer! I overthink what I’m doing. “Emma Peabody is this really necessary, last time that you tried to conquer your fears and tell Amelia everything you wanted you panic and ended up falling asleep in an abandoned park,” I say to myself in the mirror, I feel like I'm crazy for trying to do this. But I want my friendship with Amelia back. Standing in the mirror I ponder to myself if I should even talk to Amelia again. OPTION A: [[Go to Amelia’s house and win her friendship back.]] OPTION B: [[Stay home and live with the fact your best friends gone. ]]

I run to Amelia house every step I take a little fear starts to go away. [[next-> GO TO AMELIAS FRONT DOOR STEP]]

“I can’t do this,” I say to myself. I hate the idea of not being friends with Amelia but its fight after fight and I’m sick of it I hate it so much. I lay on my bed and fall asleep in the late afternoon. I wake up from a terrible dream its around 12 am it seems so late but I’m not tired I don't want to go back to sleep. I just think and think and think and think. I feel like I should just put my shoes and a jacket on and run to amelia’s house as fast as I can. I come to the conclusion that in the morning I will get ready and run to amelia house and win back my best friend. [[next-> NEXT MORNING]]

I run to Amelia house every step I take a little fear starts to go away. [[next-> GO TO AMELIAS FRONT DOOR STEP]]

I run to Amelia house every step I take a little fear starts to go away. I walk to the front door and ring the bell. “What do you want?” Amelia says while rolling her eyes. “ look I'm sorry I know sometimes I make it all about me and I should do that but I want us to still be friends.” “Yeah, but what about me what I want. Or do you just not care because everything has to be about you, the whole world has to revolve around you or else you break into a million pieces.” “Look I said I’m sorry I’ll try harder to be a better friend but I don't know what to do because you never say anything about it. You just put up with it till now.” “Maybe I've never said anything but that doesn't mean I don't think about it. This isn't the first time I wanted to end our friendship. When we were still friends…” “Were not friends anymore,” I say. “I didn't mean it like that Emma.” we went from yelling at each other to silence. I'm still standing on her front doorstep, I can feel myself starting to shiver. It feels like I just got shot in the heart. I walk over to the porch swing, Amelia walks behind me. “When I said when we were still friends I didn't mean we were friends now, we’re just not as close…” her voice trails off. “Emma I'm sorry for what I said. I still want to be your friend but it just might take some time.” “ I want all my stuff back,” I say. “That all you came here for nothing else, you just want your stuff back there's nothing else you have to say nothing at all.” “There is something but it doesn’t matter if it's not going to make anything different.” She takes a deep breath, “yes it is important.” “Can we be friends again? It doesn't have to be like we used to be it can just be friends but can we… please” “ Yes, I'd love all this fighting to be over.” [[next-> AFEW MONTHS LATER]]

“You know what it's much better-being friends than strangers who nod as they walk to their next class,” I say laughing” “Your right.” “Oh, Amelia when I was going through trying to find all your stuff I found this note that you made when we were younger.” I take the note out of my pocket and put it on the table. “Geez, Emma how many times have you folded this and why is it wet?” “I fell asleep in the abandoned park and it rained.” we both break into tears laughing. And at that moment it was just two girls sitting at a table laughing like there was no one else around.